(Names have been redacted)

As I get older I find myself looking back at some of the points in my life that have brought me the greatest joy. The births of each of my children, meeting K, convincing her to spend her life with me, and chance meetings with friends that have turned into lifetime friendships. But there is a story that I’d like to share with you.

It was K’s birthday. We asked J and her then new boyfriend W to join us for dinner at the Cheesecake factory to celebrate. We had met W and he had made a very good impression, and J had been raving, but this was our first chance to get to spend some time with W.

We talked, and I had a very good feeling right away, not just about W, but also about W and J, together. It was, the way W looked at J when she was talking, and she at him.

The time came to order, then after a bit our food started arriving.  Now if you have ever eaten out with J you may know about her curse. Her food is almost always the last to arrive, if at all, and there is usually something wrong when it does arrive, through no fault of her’s. This time was no different.

Sitting in front of W was maybe one of the most delicious burgers I’d ever seen, and in front of J, nothing. We spoke to the waitress and she said she would correct the problem, but it would take a few minutes. Now I swear to you it is no exaggeration when I tell you that I don’t believe W ever even stole a glance at that burger, much less start eating until J’s food arrived.


Now to some the point of this may be lost. But I will tell you as a father who has never wanted anything greater for his children than to be loved, truly loved, and to have someone devoted to them, this was an “Aha” moment. One I will never forget. From that day I have often thought of that dinner, and that joy was only surpassed by the day, in my yard, when W was helping me fix my car that he asked me for permission to marry J.

I love you J, we have always had a very special bond.

W I love you like a son. Thank you for making my little girl so happy.

(Names have been redacted)

Minister/Father:
Welcome to the marriage of W and J.

W and J have asked that we take a min of silence and reverence to honor Family and Loved Ones, that have passed and cannot be here today… . Thank you. Please sit.

You have been asked to gather here to witness and share in the joy of this union. I have spoken to W and J and have confirmed that they wish. On this day, to be joined in a bond that not only signifies their commitment to each other, but also as a symbol to the world that they stand besides each other as partners.

W and J, Marriage is a great challenge. Some would say one of the most important journeys we can embark on. Nothing said or done here today can consecrate your marriage; only you can do that – through love and patience; with dedication and resolve; through talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other; through compassion and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences, and by learning to make the important things matter, and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as lifemates.

Friends and Family, I challenge you to support W and J in their every endeavor. To be there to help them when they call, to provide care and always work to see them accomplish their goals. When a marriage succeeds, we all succeed. It is through no small effort that they stand here before you today to exchange these vows. It should be with equal effort that we encourage and assist them in their life together.


Exchange of Vows:

W, place the ring on J’s finger, please look at her and repeat after me.

I, W promise to love and cherish you J.
To make our home one of love and understanding.
I promise to be faithful to you.
Giving you all of myself, all of my tomorrows, and all of my life.

J, place the ring on W’s finger, please look at her and repeat after me.

I, J promise to love and cherish you W.
To make our home one of love and understanding.
I promise to be faithful to you.
Giving you all of myself, all of my tomorrows, and all of my life.

Minister/Father:
May these two find happiness in their union. May they live faithfully together, executing the vows they have made between them; and may they ever remain compassionate and encouraging, that their years may be rich with the joys of life, and their days be long upon the Earth.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss.